Random Fictional Story-Off

[Jordan]

I'm the random fictional story master, y'all. I can out-awesome anyone that comes along. Want me to prove it? Ok

On the way to the mall today, I spotted a tortoise, which wasn't all that unusual for this time of year, but this one was carrying a parasol. I looked down at the tortoise, and for some reason shouted, "WOULD YOU LIKE FRIES WITH THAT?" Instead of responding verbally, the tortoise shot me a look that pierced my very soul, and I knew from that moment on I would become the Tortoise Master. Hence, the shoes.

[Daniel]

This turned out surprisingly well, and I did not expect it to come off this cleanly... I am proud to say that this is an original (very) short story by me!

The day started normally, like any other. I arrived to my school as normal; like any other weekday. My friends were running around in circles and chasing their tails; just like any other the- Wait, what?

I approach my group of friends that are franticly trying to catch a thing that they will never and questionably address the following at them, "What the hell are you guys doing!?"

My friend Mr. Cooljar Jr. stops running in a circle and tells me, "Do not say that word! God hates a dirty mouth." I look at him with a puzzled look (he is not normally this pious). "I am sorry," I continue, "What are you guys doing?"

Cooljar responds, "What the hell do you think we are doing?"

"Didn't you just tell me not to say that word?" I asked Cooljar.

"No, I don't believe I did such a thing."

Thus I realize that all of my friends are just as stupid as I am. I head off into an aimless direction letting my overwhelming confusion of what just happened get the best of me. "Stupid..." I say aloud as I leave the scene, "They still didn't tell me what they were doing." Then I further question... why were they chasing tails that I could not visibly see?

At this point, out of curiosity, I turn around and try to check- Check for something that one would not normally expect to be there. I turn around for a few moments trying to stare at my butt, but no success. After feeling stupid for even checking for a tail at all... I wander off into an isolated area, and start running in a circle by myself, just to make sure. Three hours pass as I do this so far, and strangely enough school has not yet started.

I continue running in a circle without a care in the world. As I continued checking for a tail someone confronts me and asks, "What the hell are you doing?"

[Daniel]

*laughs*, thank you Shay... now as for your story?

[vem]

Finally the tortoise spoke, "I can tell by those shoes that you arethe Master, do you know how many pairs of shoes I've been looking at until yours came along?"
I smirked and then quickly looked around to see if anyone is looking at me talking to a tortoise. Nobody - ok, it's cool.
My hard shelled friend walked along with me for a bit until we came to large pond in a clearing by the woods. "Here is where you must follow me to my home. Your shoes will help you breathe under water. Come with me."
I looked at the tortoise with trepidation, then carefully waded out into the pond. As the water rose up to my chin I became nervous that I might have been played a fool by my reptilian friend, but with a wink and a gesture of his front leg I followed him under the pond's surface.

ok - now your turn!

[Jordan]

All of a sudden, a huge meteor crashed into the pond, and from it came the monstrous Kraken, with a Norwegian flying squirrel astride its back (you could tell it was Norwegian by the rakish angle of its fedora). Having encountered a similar situation in a back alley of Zimbabwe, I reached into my trenchcoat pocket and withdrew a handful of straws, with which I quickly constructed a 1/19 scale of the Eiffel Tower. The flying squirrel flew into a fit of rage and dove for my neck, but then...

Next ;D

[Daniel]

Oh, this is a collective story? what the fuck... i thought it was just a short story... DAMN IT. I typed up my own story for nothing? Please read my first reply to this thread when you have the chance so that you can see my short story.

[vem]

Ok Daniel, let's fuse these two stories just for fun. ;D

....but then, I see this guy running in a circle as if trying to catch his own tail (of which he had no such thing) and I yelled, "What the hell are you doing? Stop doing that and help me with this squirrel!!"
It seems he had just left a group of people who were all doing the same thing, which I thought was odd, but right now I had this crazy Kraken on my mind and a pesky squirrel closing in on my neck!
All of a sudden my tortoise friend flew out of the pond like a rocket and totally T-boned the flying squirrel! It was awsome! The squirrel let out a groan and crashed into the pond. The guy chasing his tail just stood there with his mouth agape. Then, a look of complete terror covered his face as he pointed to the Kraken who was now really pissed that the tortoise knocked out the squirrel.
"Quick!" I yelled, "Start spinning again in the other direction and that will make time reverse!!"
He did as I said, spinning faster and faster until all the recent events started to go in reverse. The squirrel came back from falling, the tortoise went back into the pond, the Eiffel Tower disassembled itself and the straws appeared back in my pocket, the Kraken went back into the meteor and the meteor went back into space.
Just then the tortoise appeared, rather annoyed, and shouted, "Quit screwing around!!! Where do you think you are ZIMBABWE?? We have things to do!" "I see we have a new friend on board so give him one of your shoes so he can breathe underwater and let's get going! Hurry up! Wait - let that guy finish thowing up from spinning so fast before he gets into the water...what's his name anyway?"
"It's Daniel (wheeze), are you sure it's ok for me to go with you?"

next....

[Daniel]

Mine was not intended to be continued... just a story within itself

-Starts sniffling-

I do not understand what the intention of this thread is; is it to have each person to tel a story, or to have everyone be forced to add on to a pre-existent one? (no one has yet specified)

vem Even though my story was supposed to be read as a story that has a never ending cycle, you made a good addition.

[Jordan]

Well, vem here added onto mine, so I figured I'd keep adding. You can make your own OR you can add on to a previous one. Now clean up that puke.

[Daniel]

*pulls out a mop*

CONTINUATION TO JORDAN'S STORY:

Then a second meteor kills the kraken, and all life on earth.
(What a good ending)

(Just kidding though, I want to keep reading what you guys will add to Jordan's, 'tis quite interesting so far.)

[vem]

[NARRATOR]" Please pardon any previous confusion with the story, the intent is to keep adding to it just to see how far we can get."
*thinks to self* Where did that narrator came from? hmmmm
I don't know from where Daniel pulled that mop but that could explain why he was spinning around when I first found him....

Anyhoo, under the water we go. We look at each other in amazement that we can breathe and see very clearly! (I'm lovin these shoes and I want a pair in every color!)
The tortoise glances back at us and shakes his head. "Humans..." he muses. "Follow me, we're almost there!"
Although the pond seemed rather small on the surface, underneath it contained a vast labyrinth of cave-like structure. The tortoise navigated the maze with great ease and I felt lucky to have him as a guide, as I don't think Daniel and I could have ever found our way.
We came to a clearing that looked like a little city of Atlantis. There were all kinds of underwater creatures going about their daily business. Frogs riding large carp fish as if driving a car, crayfish directing traffic, trout in dresses pushing guppies in carraiges, large snails with advertisments on their shells - "Eat at Joe's Worm Hut" - "S Car Go! Rent one today! call 555-1234" .
"This is wild!" I exclaimed. Daniel nodded, still in awe of his surroundings.
"We, are on the brink of distruction." said the tortoise, "The Kraken was a prime example. Someone is out to get us and we must find out who and destroy them. You are the Master, our residents look to you for an answer! That is why you were brought here."

your turn.....

[vem]

*clears throat* Ahem..... your turn......

[vem]

Just kidding - kind of - on that last post. I won't be around this weekend anyway.... but if you are so inclined, please procede. I'm having fun with this arent'you?

[vem]

I'm sad....no one wants to play this story game anymore?? :-(

[Cannibal Rapist]

I am going to give this a try... maybe.

As we continue through this mini world, which is actually very very gross, we pass this peculiar Bluegill riding a Green Sunfish. The Bluegill was wearing pin striped pants, a red silk vest, a formal tailcoat, with gray gloves and a black puff tie. It topped the outfit off with an onyx and silver walking cane, a black top hat, and gothic styled spectacles that have a purlpe tint. Why the hell was he wearing silk down here? Doesn't he know what water does to silk?
Looks around wearily, wondering how the hell I know that.
That poor Green Sunfish. The Bluegill is like two times bigger than it and hes riding him like a horse...its even got a bridle on and a saddle.
I was too busy examining the fishes in front of us to noticed that we had stopped.. right in front of the Bluegill. The Tortoise was waving his arms in hands in mine and Daniels direction as if explaining something. I turn to look at Daniel but when my eyes reach where he was just standing moments ago all they find are a far off sculpture and a note on the ground. I pick up the note and go to read it but find myself staring at the page which has gibberish written all over it. Though I have no idea what language it is my mind is able to read and understand it.
I look up shaking my head and mumbles "This is so queer. First the Tortoise and shoes and now this ability to read unknown languages. And where the hell has Daniel gotten off to?"
Looking sideways at the Tortoise and Bluegill I decide to go off after Daniel. Leaving a note I take off in search of him. A little ways away I stop, taking in my surroundings. Now where could Daniel have run off to? Or better yet.. what would have intrigued Daniel? I did find him running as if chasing a non-existent tail.
I continue walking around, often asking the creatures if they have seen him. Just when I am about to give up I hear this queer sounding shriek. Contemplating what direction it is coming from I start running left. The closer I get to the sounds the more the air, or shall I say water, changes. Its getting more thicker and dense. A little stale also.
Now the shrieks are louder. I must be very close. But I come to a dead end, which is empty, yet the shrieking continues. I look around finding nothing. Centering myself, I sit on the ground cross legged. I close my eyes and tilt my head back. I open my eyes smirking like crazy. SUCCESS! I have discovered the source of shrieking... and its Daniel. In a clasp of claws.. connected to behemoth, barbaric and rabid looking, Tytonidae. One wouldn't think a simple Barn-owl to look so elegant and frightening. With its magnificent wings, which look like fire-y ash, spread wide flying in circles as if taunting something or someone. Its huge smokey blue eyes, with eccentric but sand-out-ish rings around the irris which seems to never end. Its sleek beautiful feathers covering most of its body. My, this creature if wonderous.
Wait. How the hell is it even breathing? Owls cant breathe under water.
My thoughts are interupted by yet another shriek. I look up at Daniel, squinting eyes, with a 'holy S**T, what the hell is that thing' look plastered to my face. Someone has got to show that boy how to scream right.. or just fight. His pitches are so off. Im sure that if there was metal around it would be cringing and folding in on its self.
Then there is a crash and a gargantuan Raven, which has zebra print eyes, stumbles out of nowhere.