Random Fictional Story-Off

[Daniel]

@guest user "Cannibal Rapist"

That was a very neat story, and it actually cheered me up today.

[scarletvixen]

I gots dibs on the next part..
>looks around wearily with bulging eyes, then slowly squints them<

[scarletvixen]

I just sat there staring in awe. Milky. That's what its eyes looked like. Its not zebra print. They remind me of a blind persons. Milky and filmed over. Its wings are as dark and shiny as obsidian. Its beak is a shade or two lighter but just as shiny. Suddenly I felt a pain in my forehead, breaking my reverie. I look for the culprit of this only finding a huge Klondike Bar. And I mean huge. My god, this thing has got to be like six and a half inches and 2 inches width.
Where did this come from?
I stand up looking around, a bit hot.
"MY KLONDIKE BAR!!" It bursts through the growing density, filling my ears with a soul-wrenching, heart shattering wail. Throwing my head back to see who could scream with such anguish for a Klondike Bar although I already know who I am going to find. Sure enough, theres Daniel with his arms thrusted in front of him, hands grabbing at nothingness, forgetting about the damn Owl holding onto him about 500 feet in the air and a Raven attacking him from all sides. I think his eyes are now bigger than the owls...
They sell these down here? I thought fishes only ate fish food and other fishes and bugs and stuff...
Still looking up at Daniel and the birds, I bring my forefinger to my lip pondering all these questions swarming through my mind.
Then it hits me! I should help Daniel and kill these things. These creatures don't need them running a muck around here. Didn't the tortoise say something about being destroyed or something along those lines?
Interrupting my thought process a little Thing strides up to me. I say thing because I cannot place what it is.
"I have come bearing gifts for the Master."
I go to look at it but I cant seem to move my head back into place.. I must have gotten a kink in it from holding it back for so long. So I get down on my knees. As the Thing watches me I lay down on my stomache, head, of course, arched back, I can finally look up at him. My face has a completely, utterly confused look to it. "Uh, what?"
"I have been sent by Prince."
I just stare at him.
"Well hes not actually a Prince.." The look on Its face shows that he is trying to find the right words. "Hes just so beautiful!"
I continue to stare at him with one raised eyebrow. It took him all that time to come upon that word?
"Anyways. I was sent by him to give you these things. He said, and I quote," Hes now making air quotes, "'Bringeth thou these gifts. They shalt help thou with thous quests.'"
I tilt my head to the side slightly. He looks deep in thought.
"I think he was trying to use his funny accent...Thats another reason as to why we all love him so much. Hes just so sprightly and wonderful. I don't think anyone compares to him. Though he does praise you. I JUST CANT BELIEVE YOU'VE FINALLY COME! Its just so exciting to think that we will soon be out of harm. I could see why he likes you so much. HOLY SHMOLEY! When did those birds get there? Looks like the owl is holding something. That owl is a little big though.. I dont think they are suppose to be..."
"So what do you.. Oh those have been there the whole entire time.. and its carrying my new acquaintance Daniel. Damn kid dropped his Klondike bar on my head. Oh yeah.. What do you have for me?"
"OH YEAH!" The Thing exclaims. It starts digging around in this huge bag of 'Big League Chew' that it pulled out of nowhere. I wonder if its empty of gum..? He started throwing things in all directions, humming a tune that I cant place right now... hmmm.
I think its.. Meatloaf? No. Kiss? No. Journey? YES! Now what song..
I am going to go with Dont Stop Believing.
"AHA! Here you are sir." He hands me a stick and some wings. A friggin stick.
I just look at him.
"Here let me put the wings on for you.. You're going to have to get up though."
I start to get up but its harder than I expected. When is this kink going to go away? I finally get up onto my knees and go to stand up, but I fall over. Great. After rolling, squirming, eating S**T, and a ton of other fails, I get up.
The Thing runs over to its bag and pulls out a stool. I wonder how in the world he fits so much in there. Placing the stool behind me at my feet, he grabs the wings and jumps up there. Going into a mechanic like way, he pushes and pulls me until the wings are sitting on my back, sturdy as a submarine. He jumps off of the stool, scampers over to the stick picking it up and brings it back to me.

[vem]

Great...so now I have wings, a magic shoe, a klondike bar and a stick. "Well? what are you waiting for? Says the thing as he fluffs my wings, "Take flight and go get Daniel before that owl makes off with him and takes your other shoe!" I look at the tortoise as if needing approval and he only shrugs and says, "You are the Master...this is part of the job."
I look up at Daniel, still squirming in the talons of the owl and shrieking like a...what?...a girl? ...whatever. The raven is no longer interested since the klondike fell so he takes off. I take a bite of the beloved ice cream bar with the creamy center (paying homage to Ren and Stimpy), bend my knees, lift off and to my amazement I'm flying!! WOW! I can't believe these wings actually work under water!! I look down and see the thing and the tortoise waving up at me. "Hold on Daniel! I'm almost there!!" Just then the owl, being the wise creatures they are, tightened it's grip on Daniel, makes a quick turn and takes off flying in a zig-zag pattern, trying to lose me.
As if the wings are now a part of my body I find I can maneuvere
them to change the angle of my flight. I can dip and roll and follow the owl with ease. "This is incredible!" I yell, "you can't get away from me, give me my friend back!!"
I get just close enough to jab the stick into the owl's side, causing it to shriek and drop Daniel and fly away. "So it wasn't Daniel making that noise, it was the owl...hmmmmm" I'm thinking as I watch Daniel plummet. "HEEELLLLLLLLLLLPPPPP!!!!!" I hear Daniel scream as I change direction and speed up to catch him by the back of his shirt just before he lands in the gaping mouth of a giant clam. "It's ok, I've got you." I tell him just as the clam snaps shut. "Whew! that was close" says Daniel, "Now, is there some place I can go and change my pants? if you know what I mean."
"Just don't take that shoe off or you'll be sorry." I tell him. "I'm already sorry! I'm sorry I ever came with you to this place! I'm sorry I got out of bed today!"
Just then the Prince appears, or I should say the guy that thinks he's a Prince, and he must be because he is beautiful...I mean really beautiful! His robes are gold and silver, his eyes are aquamarine in color and his hair is wavy and seems to form around his head like a halo. Beams of lights project from his body and he moves slowly and gracefully. "A job well done Master."he says shaking my hand. " And, thank you tortoise for bringing him to me, you shall be rewarded with a can of your favorite thing, powdered toast!" I see the tortoise well up with tears of joy in his eyes and I can't help but think I've seen this before - deja vu - but I shrug it off. "Now please, follow me."
Just then my wings fall off and melt away into the waters current. The thing looks at me, gives a wink and gestures for me to follow the Prince. I put my arm around Daniel's shoulder, give him a reassuring smile and off we go.

[Cannibal Rapist]

Prince was supposed to be his name. He doesn't think hes a prince or anything like that... =\

[vem]

He can still be a prince - it's fiction...... **winks**

[Daniel]

*Sits down and examines the mess around me*

Oh jeez... you guys should keep going with this 'ya know? It could become a dyin CLASSIC bedtime story...

[vem]

I'm just waiting for the next installment!

[vem]

I'm constantly scratching my head in awe that all this can exist under the surface of a neighborhood pond.
We were lead to what looked like a giant conch shell that was encrusted with what looked like jewels from a distance, but once we got closer I noticed it was really highly polished shells, all arranged in a beautiful mosaic design. This was obviously the residence of a very high official in this underwater world.
"Please, do come in and have a seat at this conference table, we will begin shortly." said the prince. Daniel and I, the tortoise pulled up a chair and looked around, wondering what was next.
The prince walked over to a large screen and snapped his finger, upon which an image appeared. It was the Kraken we saw earlier. "This is our enemy." said the prince, "for decades we have been fighting this foe and have not been able to destroy it. this kraken toys with us, almost demolishes our world....we fight it, it goes away long enough for us to rebuild, then is appears again! we don't know what to do anymore!! So, that is why we chose you (he points to me) with your remarkable intelligence to help us come up with a plan to eliminate the kraken for good!"
"That's a tall order, not to mention it scares the crap out of me!" I said.
"But now you know first hand because you have seen it, you have seen it's cohorts and what they did to poor Daniel. Surely you have something in those pockets of yours that can help, we haven't much time before the kraken strikes again." said the prince
"I have to think about this" I said, " I have a few straws and some keys and a couple of paperclips, but I'm no MacGuyver here!"
"WAIT!! I've got it!" cried Daniel

[tipsy]

This is very funny, keep at it.

[vem]

"If you all will remember, if it was not for me spinning to make time go in reverse, we'd probably in the kraken's belly" said Daniel, "So, that must have bought us some time....but how much?" He continued, "I say we look for what ever it is that scares the Kraken - come on, every thing has it's fears."

[Daniel]

I feel bad now that it is just vem (we all know i shouldn't contribute to this story (because i am the main character)). Vixen! Get back!

[tipsy]

And how did you become the main character?

[Daniel]

i don't know to be honest. Ask Cannibal (match).

[scarletvixen]

You didnt become the main character.. you were a contributing character. I needed you to be all like in distress and easilly distracted for the main-mainest character to find the next obstacle. And I think your wrong about Cannibal.